Logan
-December 9, 2012 we learn we are expecting our 4th baby (on the same day my sister got confirmation she was also pregnant). Nervously we went to the 8 week sonogram and all was well. Went back at 11 weeks for an appointment and listened to a wonderful heartbeat and had so much excitement about the pregnancy. I returned the following week, at 12 weeks 6 days for my first trimester screen sonogram- routine. The baby was beautiful and had grown, but there was no heartbeat. Devastated and in disbelief that in a week all had changed, we got on our knees and began to pray for a miracle. I returned each week for a sonogram praying for a heartbeat, but after 3 more weeks, my uterus was showing signs of distress and it became necessary for my health to have another d&c (I showed zero signs or symptoms of a miscarriage. Without the sonogram we would have never known anything was wrong). On February 28, we said goodbye to our precious daughter, Lily. She left us with her arms reaching up for her Heavenly Father and praising Him.
Lily
- Clearly beyond devastated, we decided to wait to try again for a few months. We booked a beach vacation on a whim, had a huge breakthrough with Beth Moore's Breaking Free, had a blast in NYC and I prepared my heart for my precious niece and nephew to arrive right around Lily's due date.
- After LOTS of blood testing, testing with Lily and looking into all sorts of different things, there is absolutely nothing that could be found as to why. Lily was perfect.
- August 4, 2013 (1 year after it all began), we found out we were pregnant with baby #5. Nervous, but full of faith, I made my first appointment. Baby was bigger than expected and looked great. We returned at 12 weeks 4 days for another sonogram and everything looks great as well. Today we are 13 weeks 1 day. We believe this baby will be in our arms this early April. I have felt small flutters already and I know He is giving me sweet reminders he is here.
This past year has been a journey. I walked through this while trying to be the best teacher I could be, even if I spent many conference periods in tears, suffered through 5 rounds of strep, and in general had overwhelming stress piled on. Clearly the past year had a major impact on our decision for me to say home. Time to recover, relax and focus on what is important. I have never felt such sadness as this year brought. but also have never felt so close to Ryan or God. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by amazing family and friends and to share so many stories with other moms of angel babies.
I could go on about everything through this journey, but know we appreciate prayer over this sweet life are greatly appreciated and we are looking forward to the next 6 months and finally holding another baby in our arms.
We pray our journey and story can help others who walk through this. So many women lose babies and so few speak about it. I think we need to lean on one another more.
Today
